songs on spring

by Betsi Krisniski

/
  • Digital Album
    Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $4 USD  or more

    You own this

     

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

about

Well, I’m sick. But today is my favorite day of the year, and I want to share a few songs that I have noodled with and if I keep noodling they will never be released. These are demo-ish. Maybe I’ll make big tracks someday. Maybe. Until then - please enjoy the raw goodness. I love you guys.

Track warnings:
There’s an F-bomb in “science fiction”.
“depressed” is really depressing.

All recorded on the magical iPhone 11.

credits

released October 31, 2019

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Betsi Krisniski Hudson, New York

flighty, fidgety, all-in-one modern day june cleaver of acoustic assault.

contact / help

Contact Betsi Krisniski

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Track Name: obligation (spring 35)
You were a leaf on a maple tree
You burned bright and then you fell
Made a show for everyone
Left an empty opening
My own sad story to tell
Getting sore over the months
And soon it will be years that I've had this loneliness
And if you could be here 
I would have to tell you this

Real isn’t simple and simple isn’t me
The world is really messy but we all like company
And if you shoveled in the coal I knew I could make fire
But you’re empty and you’re cold and so was I after a while
I can’t open my mouth cos everyone gets scared
They can’t handle me different no one is that well prepared
And I’m not really either but if i had more to give
i would want you to be here
I would have to tell you this

Bright skin, dark lips, looking up from emptiness
Balancing yourself on coke and cigarettes
I feel seasick and obnoxious that I let someone in
And if I can be honest I won't like that again
So now my days are long and lonely but I'm trying to be productive
But it's funny to me
now that i'm finally free
all i want is to be back in the dungeon

Real isn’t simple, and simple isn’t me
The world is miserable so we're in good company
And you left me in the fall, but I learned how to make fire
Now I'm tired and I'm cold cos it's really hard to try
I can’t open my mouth cos everyone gets scared
They can't handle authentic, no one is that well prepared
And I’m not really either but if things were different
I would want you to be here
I would have to tell you this
Track Name: science fiction (spring 8)
How long, how long, do I have to pretend
that the vaccine works and I truly understand?
I am always half baked, I am happy on my own
that’s a pretty strong case for staying alone
And now you are sorry you didn't finish our story
the novel's on the nightstand, and you can’t sleep
there's diagrams in margins, and passages highlighted
but it’s all in a language that you don’t speak

and you said you needed time, i was happy to oblige
you said that we should talk, but it hasn't happened yet
you want to rewind this back to the beginning
but I still don't want your video cassette
we're science fiction at its best
a case of opposites attract
and i am starring nonetheless


once upon a time we were happy with our lives
and i started to relax, turned off my survival mode
then the earthquake came and the aliens arrived
so i reached out for your hand, and i saw i was alone
this is getting old, and i am getting tired
it's hard to rewire how you think of everything
so i'm working on my commune, and i'm working on the koolaid
and i think i've finally found the perfect recipe

yes i've thought about my options, i'm really good at those
i need a deadly dose to finally forget
so please don't rewind this all to the beginning
cos i truly don’t want your video cassette
we're science fiction at its best
a case of opposites attract
and i am starring nonetheless

and how dare you keep showing up
i'm so careful to avoid that stuff
for example how hard did you try to convince me that you loved me when you didn’t give a fuck?
when i was in middle i was searching for a symbol
that's as close to forever as i'm ever gonna get
so please don't rewind this all to the beginning
cos i really can't watch that video cassette
we're science fiction at its best
a case of opposites attract
and i am starring nonetheless
Track Name: amanda (spring 22)
i don't dance at bars
and i don't want to
i want to want to want to dance
and i knew if i were amanda
i would dance like there were no demands of
who i am or who i hafta
be
and i'm okay with that
i'm okay with her
i'm okay with me

sometimes i'm 'fraid to say
what i'm really thinking
i want to want to want to say
and i knew if i were amanda
i would say things like there were no demands of
who i am or who i hafta
be
and i'm okay with that
i'm okay with her
i'm okay with me

maybe it's easier
just to be lazier
but really dear
what is the point
you heal like a wound
when you are not around things
and being alone
feels okay
like the only way possible
loneliness logical
being alone
feels so great


and i knew if i were amanda
i could be alone like there were no demands of
who i am or who i hafta
be
and i'm okay with that
i'm okay with her
i'm okay with me
Track Name: depressed (1, 2, 3) (spring 86)
when you asked / if i was done / i said yes
cos i didn't know what else to do
when you / get so depressed / and are following through
on what the voices all say to you
and I / am falling fast / you’re falling faster
and further away
and I don’t really know what to do / except talk to you
when all’s said and done at least we’ll be friends
one, two, three…
 
you can only mend / the same hole / in your favorite dress
so many times
before you work your way around the binding of the sleeves
and you're binding to the binding of the binding / of your bind
and you go out in the rain / in the coat you’ve come to love
but suddenly the wind gets through
and you realize it’s cold and you realize you’re numb
one, two, three…
 
i am an artist / a contractor / a contractess / I’m much less than I’d like to be
and over and through it all / I always kinda knew / you would destroy me
we just laughed and set the latch / on little mouse traps / bait the roots of the tree and then I wince when it hurts
I can’t really say that I regret anything and how awful is it that I miss being yours
one, two, three…
 
it's like a little purr / a sound machine - a bare minimum, heartbeat
I would hold my breath when you left
time will not heal this / the precedent’s set
they all want me deep breathing and counting and feeling
but I haven’t felt anything since you’ve left
one, two, three

so here I’m alone / cos that’s how things belong / 
and everything ends up the way that it should
and I play and I sing and I make my own tea which is something I’ll never improve
and I made you promise if you broke my heart you would do it right
well I guess you did. 
So thank you for not lying about everything
You came through in the end
Track Name: make room (spring 74)
come running when i hear you /cos i know you will make room
i come running heavy handed with love for you
and it don't matter of my color /no it don't matter where i come from
when i come running you step aside and let me have some
 
you make up language / you make up the rules / you make up answers but at least it's you
and there is no one else that i would rather answer to
and i would never be a stranger / i will always take up your space
cos every something i see is a place we could be
just your face and my face
 
and i sing up to your ladder every day
even though there’s never much that’s new to say
and you listen politely and let me stay
that’s love
 
even when I'm sad I try and think of you
And how you always make room
And it don’t matter what I’ve done
And it don’t matter where I come from
When I come running you step aside and let me have some